Finding North

«Strength means blessed with an enemy» I received the dreaded letter on the 22nd of March - the refusal . Sweden couldn't assign me with a personnummer because I hadn't been able to get my S1 form or show any "reliable proof" of my health insurance cover within the EU. It seemed like it was over... After a two-month wait, I felt ready to accept defeat. There was no way for me to get my hands on that form, which was the only thing that was missing.  I was shocked when I received the news. Part of me had always known that it was an option, but had never really prepared for that possibility to happen. I was ( still am ) mad, frustrated, scared. What did this mean for me? Would I have to give up and leave behind the idea of living in Sweden? And what would happen to my relationship, my boyfriend currently dealing with a particularly fragile mental state, unable to move anywhere with me? My mind flooded with questions and I decidedly wanted to roll into a ball and...

This year, spring started on the 20th of March for the northern hemisphere ( in theory at least ). Here in the north, the day started with a lot of snow. I walked the dog in the morning under heavy snowflakes and was mesmerized by the way everything outside looked so peaceful. All nature seemed to be asleep under this mantle of white and it was almost like time had stopped. With a slow, deep breath and the fresh wind in my face, I stood in the middle of the road to take it in.  But as the weather is known to be whimsical, it completely changed without warning. It looked like spring had indeed arrived... After lunch all the clouds had astonishingly cleared and the sun was shining again - something that hadn't happened in a few days. Because the day was so beautiful and I needed to get rid of some stress, I decided to go for a walk. But nothing could've prepared me for the stunning sights I was about to see. Witnessing nature at its best put me in a great mood and brought th...

«They say home is where the heart is,  But my heart is wild and free. » Two days ago, I found myself crying. At first I wasn't too sure what I was crying about ( one of the perks of being an emotional wreck... ), but soon after I realized the answer was quite simple - I missed my family and my friends. It was a strange feeling, not because I had never missed them before, but because I never thought it would hit me this hard, this early on. So, much like in a bad movie, I did the responsible thing ( but really, the only thing I could do ): I went through some of the pictures I have with the people I love, while I listened to sad songs and cried my heart out. And I knew I wanted to write a post about it, because not only would writing about it help me, but hopefully it could help someone out there who has moved and is currently far away from home.  I'm fortunate enough to be living with my boyfriend and his lovely family, who have always treated me so kindly. I co...

Frustration is a tricky thing to deal with, isn't it? Well if you ever plan on moving to Sweden, you'll be well acquainted with that concept - lots and lots of it. Today was a difficult day ( I know, my blog posts haven't exactly been bubbly so far... ), but I had actually been doing so much better lately. I've been taking it easier and trying to enjoy life as much as I can. I haven't been fighting my situation at all, the only thing I've been battling with these last few days is just my anxiety really ( leftovers of my struggled February, don't worry! ). Before I start my angsty rant, I would like to say that I really like Sweden and I think it's a great country. I believe it has several great qualities and that I will be able to make a comfortable living here, once things start going my way. That being said, I wanted to write this because lately I have been seeing a lot of posts related to the idea that Sweden might be the perfect country or that ...

Last week my boyfriend took me to a place called Vitberget, right in the middle of Skellefteå. Even though we are currently living outside of the city, he used to live there, so it was astonishing to me that I had never visited it before. From there you can see the entire city, the view so amazing that I had to catch my breath. It was lovely up there, with what felt like the world at your feet. We could hear the faint traffic noise, which from afar almost sounded like a calming lullaby to me. In a way, I guess it reminded me of my own previous city life ( it is, however, a very different place ). But not only that, it gave the city a new outlook in my mind. When we're down there, in the midst of it all, we can't see the big picture. See all of it at once, for what it truly is. When we are immersed in our lives, walking around on the streets, going from place to place, it's impossible to see how majestic it is - even if it is a small town. I really loved standing th...

What is important to consider here is that the cold and the snow didn't win. They didn't manage to defeat me . I was strong enough to live through it, as I was managing so far ( to some extent ). I had embraced the winds, the snow and the cold. I had stopped being afraid of them, because they don't seem so powerful if you face them straight on. Those weren't the things that were going to stop me after all. If anything, my mind was what stood in my way. Life here in the north moves much slower, at a completely different pace from what I'm used to. I don't see anyone running around, feeling stressed. They just seem to have a very distinct way of living - taking things slow, not worrying about the things they can't change and enjoying a simple life. Which basically meant I had to adjust my entire way of thinking and operating. In short, my mindset would have to change completely ( and fast, for my sanity's sake ). I grew up believing that if I'm ...