Finding North

Here I am, coming to you with a fresh update and some very exciting news ( I'll also add some pretty pictures taken over the last two weeks )! The last time I came here to rant about my situation with the good old Swedish bureaucracy, I had just received a negative answer about my personnummer and we had applied to legally make me my boyfriend's cohabiting partner through Migrationsverket...Well that was a big, fat bust since I later discovered on their website that their decision ( which might well be a no ) would take between ten to fourteen months...As you can imagine, despair followed this information - the best option for me would now be finding a job, something that was proving harder than expected because I only knew English. I handed in a dozen resumes and everyone was very polite, some even friendly, but nothing issued from there. Some people made me feel ridiculous ( wordlessly ) for trying to find a job here without knowing the language, which made my frustrati...

«Don't stop trying to find me here amidst the chaos» The week started and I...simply had no idea what to write about. Two weeks ago I had started composing a neat little text in my head about how Spring was in full bloom and how many relaxing outdoor activities I was getting to do. I hadn't known how living in the countryside could be so much hard work, but the fact is there are always things to do with the turn of the weather and I was thoroughly glad to get a realistic sense of what it was like to live here during these months. We brought out the hammock, the deck and the chairs to go on it, but it was necessary to oil it in preparation. So I did it and I fully enjoyed getting my hands dirty doing something so practical, under the sun. Someone had to rake all the gravel stones from the lawn, there due to all the shoveled snow we took from the driveway during the winter. I did that happily, slowly making it look better and better every day. The strawberry bushes needed to...

«Door number two, I've already gone through.  I wanna see what's behind door number three...» Spring is upon us, much like anywhere else on the top half of the world. Here, that means the sun is getting warmer, but not nearly there yet. All the ice and snow are melting away ( although the fields are still almost completely white ), creating little streams of water in the most inconvenient places. But they're also not melting fast enough, which means the ground is still slippery, muddy and wetter than ever! Some days are amazingly sunny, the sky of a pure, deep blue, which makes me ache for proper spring to come: being able to go outside and enjoy the sun on my skin ( without wearing a massive jacket, which is currently how I can attempt to do that ) and feeling the green grass under my feet. But other days are cloudy and grey ( it even snowed a little yesterday ) and the setting around me looks incredibly brown, dirty and dreary. It's hard to define which season...

«Strength means blessed with an enemy» I received the dreaded letter on the 22nd of March - the refusal . Sweden couldn't assign me with a personnummer because I hadn't been able to get my S1 form or show any "reliable proof" of my health insurance cover within the EU. It seemed like it was over... After a two-month wait, I felt ready to accept defeat. There was no way for me to get my hands on that form, which was the only thing that was missing.  I was shocked when I received the news. Part of me had always known that it was an option, but had never really prepared for that possibility to happen. I was ( still am ) mad, frustrated, scared. What did this mean for me? Would I have to give up and leave behind the idea of living in Sweden? And what would happen to my relationship, my boyfriend currently dealing with a particularly fragile mental state, unable to move anywhere with me? My mind flooded with questions and I decidedly wanted to roll into a ball and...

«They say home is where the heart is,  But my heart is wild and free. » Two days ago, I found myself crying. At first I wasn't too sure what I was crying about ( one of the perks of being an emotional wreck... ), but soon after I realized the answer was quite simple - I missed my family and my friends. It was a strange feeling, not because I had never missed them before, but because I never thought it would hit me this hard, this early on. So, much like in a bad movie, I did the responsible thing ( but really, the only thing I could do ): I went through some of the pictures I have with the people I love, while I listened to sad songs and cried my heart out. And I knew I wanted to write a post about it, because not only would writing about it help me, but hopefully it could help someone out there who has moved and is currently far away from home.  I'm fortunate enough to be living with my boyfriend and his lovely family, who have always treated me so kindly. I co...

Last week my boyfriend took me to a place called Vitberget, right in the middle of Skellefteå. Even though we are currently living outside of the city, he used to live there, so it was astonishing to me that I had never visited it before. From there you can see the entire city, the view so amazing that I had to catch my breath. It was lovely up there, with what felt like the world at your feet. We could hear the faint traffic noise, which from afar almost sounded like a calming lullaby to me. In a way, I guess it reminded me of my own previous city life ( it is, however, a very different place ). But not only that, it gave the city a new outlook in my mind. When we're down there, in the midst of it all, we can't see the big picture. See all of it at once, for what it truly is. When we are immersed in our lives, walking around on the streets, going from place to place, it's impossible to see how majestic it is - even if it is a small town. I really loved standing th...

What is important to consider here is that the cold and the snow didn't win. They didn't manage to defeat me . I was strong enough to live through it, as I was managing so far ( to some extent ). I had embraced the winds, the snow and the cold. I had stopped being afraid of them, because they don't seem so powerful if you face them straight on. Those weren't the things that were going to stop me after all. If anything, my mind was what stood in my way. Life here in the north moves much slower, at a completely different pace from what I'm used to. I don't see anyone running around, feeling stressed. They just seem to have a very distinct way of living - taking things slow, not worrying about the things they can't change and enjoying a simple life. Which basically meant I had to adjust my entire way of thinking and operating. In short, my mindset would have to change completely ( and fast, for my sanity's sake ). I grew up believing that if I'm ...

Note: From this point on, I'm going to be referring to the place where I live (in the north) with the general term "Sweden" for the sake of simplicity. Please bear in mind that this is a big country and things vary a lot between the north and the south, so a lot of what I post might only apply or make sense in regards to the north. I'd also like to point out that I'll be sharing things I personally experience and the impressions I get from specific situations and people. I don't want to step on anyone's toes or make anyone upset by thinking that I'm generalizing in any way.   I arrived to my destination late at night on the 24th of January. I had planned to take the first week off to relax and enjoy some free time with my boyfriend and his family. But I couldn't do it...a mere three days in and I let my anxiety roam free - I became restless. Suddenly I had no time to lose and certainly shouldn't throw away those first few days away. The al...

Hello internet! My name is Joana and I'm from Lisbon, the capital city of Portugal. For those of you who might not know a lot about it, Portugal is a small and very sunny country in Western Europe. I lived in the same street, house and city for my entire life! So it's safe to say it is very overwhelming to find myself living...in the north of Sweden right now! But how did this happen? What brought me to this cold little corner of the world? Well, let me start from the beginning... To tell this tale, we have to go back to my high school years, when I started talking to a swedish guy on the internet, who was really funny, smart and sweet. We quickly became friends and had great talks about the movies we loved, but also shared things about our lives and what made us into who we were. Time passed and I entered a local university to study Psychology, which if you don't know ( because why would you? ), is a degree that requires you to take a bachelor (3 years) and a mas...